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06/09/2011 / jenniferrobsonartist

Meadow

I feel grass tickling me underneath my toes. The sky spitters light onto us, I blur my eyes and watch luminous flecks of luscious green, where the sunlight breathes, through leafy veins. We are underneath this tree, you and I and we are calm.

You are asleep in that vanilla way, your cheeks pouty, as your face is relaxed. You are so still and feathery, I have to check you are breathing, as I have done so many times, when you are away from me, in this sleepy cocoon. I feel the faintest float of your exhalation on my fingertips, as your dreams sweetly escape you.

You are so precious. You smiled like her today and my love almost broke in on itself, I was so enthralled.

Your eyes see the world as I do, amazing and to be delved into, with your whole self. You saved me in so many ways when you came. I thought you would be a girl. I didn’t know what to do with you. We were all terrified of you, at first. So small, yet so vast was your presence, that we all stopped in our days and were suspended by you, waiting in your wake, to hold you, love you, for you to love us. Our new King, a gift to be worshipped.

I find myself in awe of you constantly, its like you are a crystallisation of beauty made of all that is honest and good about Us, our histories, and the world, refined into this precious tiny grain of magical being, that is you.

I never understood it before, but I understand it now more than ever, with a fullness that healed me and changed us all.

You are so lucky I think sometimes, you are so loved. My sister, who has been the other half of me my whole life (her words not mine) gave us you. My sister and I are so close, and because of this you are also mine. You are all of ours.

I sang to you when you were in her belly, my sister, so raw, so fragile, so strong, so precious. I was scared of you, I couldn’t see you, but I felt you in my sister’s body, my sister I had grown up with, my sister who was still my big sister.

I loved you before you were here. We all did.

I pick you up after your bath and my hands can wrap around your tiny ribcage, I can feel your warmth, breath and body rising, your tiny heart beating, your swollen belly full. You climb onto me now and rest yourself in my arms, and I inhale your sweet candyfloss curls into me.

You have started to talk and we all think, who is this tiny person in our lives now, telling us where to ‘sit’ and what you want? You absent mindedly twiddle with my favourite necklace, a horse on a gold locket, when you sit with me. You curl and cup it with your tiny hand, and you grace it as I do. You coorie in, and I think one day my heart will break with your touch.

My sister wants me to paint you, I want to paint you, but you are so beautiful in so many ways how could I even begin?
Your eyes are so blue, so deeply blue, raw sapphires, passed down yet paler as if diluted from mine, my dad’s, my granddad’s. Your eyelashes, are downy curls sweeping up broken hearts, your lips are fleshy sweet pink cherries. The back if your head is a swirling of curls topped of with a kiss curl, you have had since birth. Your teeth are so white and new, like tiny polished cut polo mints. You have the best cheeks, they are bulging peaches, set aside a curving button ended nose, that is divine.
The way you look, the way you move, the way you sneak, the way you teeter, the way you dance and flow.

You make me laugh.

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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Gillian Dailly / Sep 6 2011 9:36 pm

    Wow. Speechless. You are amazing xo

  2. Anonymous / Feb 12 2012 9:48 pm

    Every aunt, parent, granny, grandad etc should read this and i defy you not to shed a tear( or Two)

  3. Lyndsey / Jul 13 2013 11:38 pm

    Speechless when I read this! Absolutely amazing well done true talent x

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